MENTORSHIP; THE ENGINE THAT DRIVES SUCCESSES.
Many times I have had to answer questions bothering on this particular subject matter, and often times people tend to misunderstand, abuse and become misled in this aspect, especially the ones who have no slight understanding of it.
In the next few minutes, I will be giving in depth understanding on this rather misunderstood and highly ambiguous topic.
When you hear of Mentors, what comes to your mind? What caliber of people do you see representing these set of people? Tall?, huge? Car owners? influential? and perhaps pot-bellied in the case of men, charisma built? Lets find out.
First you must have this in mind, mentorship is key to attaining success, it can elevate your professional capabilities and as well can mar it; it’s all in your hands.
Rendering a more professional definition:
Mentorship is a relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or knowledgeable person. The mentor could be older or younger, but the key focus here is level of expertise. — wikipedia
Whatever you wish to be in life, after God and yourself, mentors make it possible. These set of people aren’t your peers, they aren’t your besties, neither are they your boyfriends/girlfriends. The day you mistake them for these, the purpose is defeated. They help you fulfill your dreams.
Mentors are experienced and trusted advisers, your confidant; the day you accept their leadership, they become responsible for your successes or failures in a particular field which they guide you on. Again, it isn’t based on age but finds it foundations solidly built on experience.
Mentors vs Role-models
Mentors are people in a higher position; not in age, but in expertise. Don’t mistake role models for mentors.
For role-models, you get to imitate their exemplary life from afar, but for mentors, you get to have a close relationship. It becomes a two-lane thing, a one-to-one talk where he/she builds you up, not merely imitating them from afar. A mentor could also be a role-model, but being a role-model does not automatically make one a mentor.
Why do you need a mentor
Where you hope to be, some other person has already been there. Mentors help you get there easier with less mistakes in the process. It is not like finding a shortcut, it is not like looking for a smooth journey, it is just avoiding the 40 years journey through the wilderness as opposed to perhaps 40 days through a straight road.
Benefits of being mentored
Getting first hand engagement and opportunities. Tell me which mentor would not recommend his mentee for opportunities he knows they fit in. Besides, it would bring them recognition for their skills and experience.
having a mentor instills to you the feeling of accountability. The feeling of not wanting to disappoint is enough to keep you up always.
Your confidence to face issues gets built up and you get to have a sense of direction.
Additionally, your journey becomes less difficult, you won’t have to struggle everyday of your life in vain because you get to learn from their mistakes and take the right path.
However, it is important to note that in the quest to be mentored, there are factors to be considered.
Gender: In choosing a mentor or giving yourself for mentoring, the gender have to be put into consideration, yes! It is highly recommended a female gets mentored by the same sex, and vice versa.
For instance, one could be someone’s spouse and a mentee to someone else, that is allowed, but the gender has to be in check. It has also been discovered that females have the potential of doing better when mentored by fellow females.
Reputation and successes over the years: If your aim is making huge strides in your journey, it is important you find someone who have conquered already. Remember, you will be learning from them; learning best practices, learning to succeed, not the opposite.
Confidentiality: Also, Your mentor should be someone you can trust, who you are free with. Mentorship is a two-way thing, you have to be able to discuss your fears, your shortcomings including your weaknesses in the field in question to be able to get quality support.
Consequently, There could be a question bothering on how one could find a mentor; is it okay to go out looking for one? is it only career mentor one could be in need of, could we have more than one mentor and of course if it is okay having a family member as a mentor.
I would start with the first question; finding a mentor or a mentor finding you. I would say here that there are always mentors looking out for mentees, the issue is just readiness and seriousness to be mentored. Work on yourself and show readiness to be mentored. You do not necessarily have to be so good at what you do, just the enthusiasm, passion and readiness to learn is okay.
There are a couple of my contacts on twitter who placed themselves on the #100DaysOfCode and tweeted their everyday’s progress, guess what? They got retweets from great developers while some offered to track their progress. You see, you just have to show the enthusiasm and commitment to be better at what you do everyday. It will be quite frustrating to have your mentor run after you every time. That would be bad.
Ofcourse, we have mentors not only on our professional fields but on other areas like mental, physical and social health. And yes we could have more than one mentor but it’s advisable you get one mentor on a particular field, a good one.
And lastly, having a family member as a mentor; like I said before, it isn’t appropriate to involve personal feelings or relationship in the process of mentorship, else the purpose will be defeated. Move out, the family’s role in your life is still there. You need someone who will correct you without sentiments and who you would adhere to without any heck.
